You're the same as the rest.

An excerpt from a thought rant i was on a few nights ago:

The view from up here is stunning.
The little people with their guns, all running.
Slowly they die as they kill and fight
All over the field, i can see their insides.
We sit and drink tea and have a scone;
We are the only two left when everyone is dead or gone.
War is a glorious way to die.
For one's country, but no, not i...
No, I sit and drink tea with a scone.

What is war good for? Why do the high-ups never have to get their hands dirty and why are they worth more than anyone else. I apologize if you have an affinity for the military and are reading this, but how much of it is really, really necessary. I was at Camp Pendleton yesterday and watched countless copters fly by and tanks rumble down the beach, meanwhile the hovercrafts were running parallel to shore. How much money does that place spend every day on excessive drills and playing with toys so that they can say they are being productive. Why doesn't the military give to the community and impact the local area for the better while they are not deployed. I am not saying the military should not exist. They potentially sacrifice their lives to save ours, i just think they have better things to be doing while they are at home... and if they are about promoting the free and prosperous lifestyle, why not help people who are not prospering. You want more government programs, why don'y you enact something that will help us instead of simply making more corporations government owned so that they can still never make up for the federal deficit. Our countries morals are upside down and their definitions for things are misguided. If we can't do it right, who will? It's kind of a somber thought when you think into the thick of it. There are thousands of people who cant eat every day in this country, yet our military spends a lifetimes worth of food for a person on a quarter mile tank drill ,in gas. I'm just asking for us to be a little bit more considerate to those around us... and it should start with the government. The "leading example (arguable)" of our great nation.

Sourgrass

Thrillingly soft yet stunningly sweet
The sourgrass tells of they meet.
A reminder of times much simpler than now
When they cared a lot less and frolicked about.
The days of warm wind and sweet salty air
Sitting on the cliffs, the wind blew her hair.
The bluish-green eyes that glanced to the blue.
Exchange of subtle looks, he tries to keep cool.

He walks away and she wonders where
As he soon returns with an all too cool heir.
Revealing a bouquet of sourgrass to her,
He says, "here try it" she says, "are you sure?"
"Just try it, you'll like it, i know."
"Oh my! So sour, where does it grow?"
"All over the cliffs this time of year,
Little yellow flowers, there's some over here."

Now she thinks of it every time she sees him,
And every time he sees it, he's reminded of her.
He wonders if the outcome will be happy or grim.
Thinking and predicting, he could never be sure.
All he could know is what was the case...
The sourgrass will always remind him of her cute face.

Though, now 20 years has passed.
He remembers not when he saw her last.

3-30-10

Euphoria

Beauty, Essence, Wind, and Salt.
When you are here your whole world stops.
Now go below.
Kelp so long and mollusks abound.
Simply breath taking sights; never a sound.
Sand runs wild, reproducing at an ever increasing rate.
You can hardly keep track as it forever dissipates.
The mind moves so slow; all you think is what you see.
Simple, subtle, slow. Backlit beauty.

Brothers

The Devil and God are Raging Inside of Me.
Nobody said it better than Brand New.
At no point in time has it ever been more true.
Six months ago it was only the devil.
A year before that it was only God.
They've both got me now, in a state of slipshod.
Obviously i prefer to serve one over the other
But i combine the sides and ration;
I need my brother.

A heart that only knows God
with a mind that's shunned the devil.
This child of Christ shines light all over.
He's on another level.
This kid is my brother; and he is a gift.
His love has one goal and it never shifts.
For him it is not a means to an end.
He's simply a lover of the broken;
A passionate friend.
Whether you are whole, shattered, or bent.

Payton Randall Beckman,
Unbeknownst to him, his big brothers role model.
Surf, guitar, and a passion for arts.
Payton, my brother, from the bottom of my heart.
Payt, Paydin, Paytie, little bro, and Gator.
I Love You and thank you;
See you sooner than later.

Notes of Inspiration

The music, it pulses, it's the blood in my veins, coupled with Christ's love, at this moment, it is all my soul desires and craves. It induces mental states that vary from one extreme to the other. Thought provoking songs and sing-a-longs. Some make me think and some make me realize how much i lack or what i am good at. It is through words that are not, in fact my own, that feelings are realized and my heart strings are exercised. Some remind me of friends and some remind me of relationships that are now dead ends. "The time is now" reminds me of my father... and the one i have in heaven too. Music is beautiful and descriptive, easily a tool. A reminder of childhood and a marker of time, a teller of seasons, and a giver of reasons. It soothes my soul and gets me fired up. It encourages my depression and lends a helping hand. It is the most powerful, intangible thing in the world until it is given life when it becomes responsible for actions of beauty... and sometimes actions of wanton disregard for myself and those i love. It forms new beliefs and it reaffirms old ones. Music is an identifier, but it is not my identity. It is uninhibited and free to caress, free to give, take, and bless. Music is just that, a series of sounds and words put together. Each song different in the unique way it occurs. Music, it pulses, it's the blood in my veins, coupled with Christ's love, at this moment, it is all my soul desires and craves.

Ha-Ha-Ha...Ha

Everything was good and fine
We were just havin' a grand ol' time.
Sittin' in spas and cimbing hills
We we are just bein' really chill.
Then you purposely pissed me off
It was really unattractive, girl you need to stop.
Cut the attitude cuz it's really rude
and it sure as hell doesn't make you cute.
So act your age and be mature
Uh, oh yeah and don't be so sure...
So sure that no matter what you do
I will still feel the same about you.
Cuz i'm a good guy and i treat girls good
And won't settle for one who doesn't treat me like she should.
You have a good heart and i think you are nice
But the way you are acting makes me think twice.
So in conclusion, yeah you're cute
But in conclusion, i'm getting fed up
And in conclusion, i'm ready to scoot.